


and it feels so nice, when she's real nice to me

by fantasize



Category: Never Have I Ever (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Confused About Feelings, Crush, Drunken Kiss, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, High School, Humor, Pining, School, arcade games, childhood to senior year, completing puzzles together, devi and ben are painfully dense, not completely canon-compliant, the idea of smol devi liking ben makes me soft so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25435087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantasize/pseuds/fantasize
Summary: It made more sense now- she was only helping him for bragging rights. He could guarantee that when she went home tonight, she’d tell her parents all about completing the puzzle, and that she would definitely leave Ben out of it, lying about how she did all of it alone. He knew her too well.When the lunch break ended, and their teacher came around, gasping and complimenting the two for finishing the puzzle, Ben felt happy. He was thankful to Devi for helping him, even if her intentions weren’t so pure-hearted. In some way, he was relieved, because he couldn’t grasp his head around the idea of her being genuinely nice to him… it made him feel so weird.So, he continued to pretend that he didn’t enjoy being civil with her for once. Because she was meant to be his nemesis, never his friend- and especially nothing in between.or; five times ben is sure about what devi is being oddly nice to him for, and the one time he's proven wrong
Relationships: Ben Gross & Devi Vishwakumar, Ben Gross/Devi Vishwakumar
Comments: 29
Kudos: 76





	and it feels so nice, when she's real nice to me

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first attempt at a 5+1 fic, and i must say i really enjoyed writing this! i love writing from ben's pov, since he's such a hilarious mess. this idea had been in the back of my head for a while now, about devi doing nice things for ben and him going from agonizing every second of it to cherishing every kind word that comes out of her mouth. 
> 
> its kind of ridiculous how this pairing has completely transformed my writing for the better- i feel like it's improved a lot since a year ago, and i've also started having long ass word counts! i think i definitely owe it to all the wonderful benvi writers on here (i would have dedicated this fic to y'all but im a coward so)
> 
> this fic doesn't completely fall within canon unlike my other fics, especially in regards to devi and the intensity of her feelings for ben and paxton, but the timeline fits the original.
> 
> as always, i never really get my work beta-ed, so if there are any grammatical errors, please forgive moi. anyways, enjoy <3

**o n e -** **_for bragging rights_ **

It was getting weird.

Ben gulped nervously, trying to focus on the puzzle he was trying to put together on the carpet, but all he could feel was his nemesis’ eyes glued onto him.

When Ben had woken up this morning, he wasn’t expecting Devi Vishwakumar, out of all people, to be staring at him… _all_ day long. He wondered if it was a new tactic of hers, to make him writhe in agony at being watched all the time. He didn’t know this was a fear of his until today, that was for sure, and if her goal was to make him uncomfortable, then she was doing a stellar job.

He took a deep breath before finally turning his head to look at her, and she immediately flitted her eyes away, bringing her attention back to her two friends, Fabiola and Eleanor. But as soon as Ben looked back down to his puzzle, he could feel her gaze burning the side of his face, yet again.

“What?” Ben muttered at last, whipping his head back around at Devi, who was taken aback. 

“What?” She answered, and he relaxed at the venom in her voice. It was what he was used to. So, hearing her mean tone, he went back to his puzzle, splaying his legs out on the carpet as he clicked his tongue, grouping pieces in different piles. Unfortunately, even for a genius seven year old, a 100+ piece puzzle was impossible for a sole person to complete, that too in the span of an hour lunch break.

It was just in his bad luck that his two friends, Brian and Garrett, were both simultaneously away. It also didn’t help that the two boys were his _only_ friends. Without their help, Ben was unsure about whether he could finish the puzzle on time. 

“Gross,” A voice called out behind him, and it was unmistakably Devi. He had her slightly raspy tone basically memorized (sometimes when he’d go to sleep, he could hear her yelling his name in his head, in what he assumed was from trauma and nothing else), and only she ever called him by his godforsaken last name.

“Let me help.”

_Huh?!_ Ben thought, flabbergasted. He grew eerily suspicious, and for the right reasons. Devi hated his guts… she must have had some other underlying reason or master plan to want to help him. And so he scoffed, before ignoring her. 

He shifted his attention back to his puzzle, but the midway bell rang, signaling that he only had half an hour left to finish his entire puzzle. Devi clicked her tongue behind him, and he whipped his head around, watching her as she took a seat beside him.

“Listen. We both know I hate you…” She said, raising an eyebrow. “But I’d like to help you finish this.”

It was weird for him to think about, so he didn’t waste too much time pondering about it. Instead, he sighed, and shifted a little to the side, allowing Devi some space to help him sort out the puzzle pieces.

At first, the two were awkward, and worked on separate parts of the puzzle (Devi on the right side, Ben on the left), but eventually the two realized they would have to work on the center together. 

“Let’s work together on the center.” Ben proposed aloud, and the act of swallowing his pride to even ask his nemesis to aid him was tough. He expected some sort of snarky remark, but instead, she smiled lopsidedly, her missing teeth peeking out. He felt some sort of twinge in his heart (he didn’t exactly _recognize_ what this newfound feeling was), and assumed it was because he’d never seen Devi smile at _him_ before. Maybe it was just shock… or something like that?

Ben turned to get a puzzle piece that was near Devi’s side, but he found himself studying her instead. Her hair was extra curly today, and her overalls were ragged and baggy. She tossed her hair behind her shoulder, and splayed her legs across the carpet. Her forehead crinkled in confusion as she compared two puzzle pieces together, and her eyes grew big when they fit together. 

She turned her head up, with wide eyes. “Ben!” She exclaimed, and he flew backwards, mouth opening agape. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“For no reason!” He sputtered, cheeks burning red. He darted his eyes away from her, cringing. What was that? Why did he stare at her like that?

Eventually, they were almost done, and only had a few pieces of the center left. Ben connected one piece to another, but Devi suddenly yelped. “That’s not the right one! It’s this one.” She said, pointing to the one she had in her hand.

“David, no. That won’t fit.” He responded, sighing. 

For a second, she seemed so angry that he was scared she’d break whatever they’ve put together already apart, but she simmered down, relaxing just as fast as she got upset. “Okay.” She muttered, and Ben was shocked.

He was expecting something more _Devi_ like. Maybe her hurling the pieces in her hand at him, or her flipping the carpet, or arguing with him. But she backed down so easily, and it made Ben so, _so_ uncomfortable.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” He blurted out, peering his blue eyes at her curiously. She grew quiet, as she tried to find an answer for his question.

“So I can say I completed a hundred-plus-pieces puzzle! Duh, nothing else. Why would I help you because I _want_ to be nice to you? I _hate_ you!” She squeaked, sounding a little too defensive.

Something deep inside of young Ben recoiled at her saying she hated him, because as much as he was more comfortable with her being mean to him, a small part of him enjoyed her acting a little less annoying towards him. 

“Okay…” He replied, shrugging. It made more sense now- she was only helping him for bragging rights. He could guarantee that when she went home tonight, she’d tell her parents all about completing the puzzle, and that she would definitely leave Ben out of it, lying about how she did all of it alone. He knew her too well.

When the lunch break ended, and their teacher came around, gasping and complimenting the two for finishing the puzzle, Ben felt happy. He was thankful to Devi for helping him, even if her intentions weren’t so pure-hearted. In some way, he was relieved, because he couldn’t grasp his head around the idea of her being genuinely nice to him… it made him feel so _weird._

So, he continued to pretend that he _didn’t_ enjoy being civil with her for once. Because she was meant to be his nemesis, and never his friend. And _especially_ nothing in between. ****

* * *

**t w o -** **_for his extra arcade card_**

Ben groaned at his failure yet again, resisting the urge to bang his hand against the glass. 

It was the umpteenth time he’d tried to get the Buzz Lightyear figurine in the claw machine, but he was terrible at the game. He was exceptionally great at a lot of things, like university math, presentations, and... other really hard things, but not something as stupid as an arcade game, and that pissed him off.

When their fourth grade teacher announced he was taking their class to an arcade for a field trip, Ben didn't imagine it going like this. He didn’t really care for Buzz, or Toy Story itself (he’d always been more of a Cars kind of guy), but he knew Patty’s young sons were huge fans, and it would be nice if he could give them some sort of present that wasn’t some hand-me-down ticket to a basketball game that his father bailed out on last minute. Plus, Patty was pretty much the only person who truly took the time out of her day to care for him (sometimes he wished she'd adopt him already, because his own parents were doing a terrible job).

He was also well aware that his arcade card had a set limit of points, and that twenty out of sixty credits have been wasted on this stupid claw machine (he had an extra card tucked in his pocket, and so he had sixty credits in total instead of thirty like everyone else). Ben peered over his shoulder, watching his two friends play a basketball themed game, and sighed sadly.

“Gross, this is like your tenth try. You suck.”

He turned back around to see Devi, dressed in capris, a shirt that said _‘Wake Me Up For The Pizza’,_ and a cardigan that she was clearly only wearing to cover up the embarrassing text on the front of her top. Leaning against the claw machine, there was some sort of weird confidence that exuded from her, as she stared at him with an amused expression on her face.

The neon lighting in the room made everything brightly colored glow (including dandruff, which was extremely traumatizing for Ben to learn), and so he wondered if his eyes were glowing, judging by the way she was looking straight into them.

He couldn’t help but admit that she looked a little pretty- whatever amount was an _average_ amount of pretty- under the luminescence of all the things glowing around them. Sometimes, he would wonder whether he’d see her differently if she wasn’t so damn annoying all the time. Although, at times her cockiness was a little attractive- but that was just his hormones talking. He was a nine year old teenage boy, right? At this point in his life, puberty was probably making him think weird thoughts about _any_ girl for that matter, and it had nothing to do with Devi herself… right?

“Shut up.” He retorted back, rolling his eyes as he jammed the button again, swiping his card violently. It made a noise, and the claw started back up again. He placed his hand on the joystick, but the girl beside him cleared her throat.

“I can try once...” She proposed, and it shocked Ben so much that he took his hand back, staring at her incredulously. She was being weirdly nice to him again, and Devi was ten times scarier when she was being polite. He tried to desperately think of any ulterior motives she could possibly have, but nothing popped up in his head. 

“Why would you want to do that?” Ben asked suspiciously. “What, are you gonna purposely not get the toy? You’re trying to sabotage me?”

Devi grimaced, as if she was a little hurt at his wariness. “Chill. I just wanna give it a try. I’m better than you at everything, so chances are I’m better than you at this too.” 

He groaned before letting Devi walk closer, stepping a little to the side to make room for her. She placed her hand on the joystick confidently, and pushed it to the left, positioning the claw right over the toy. Ben watched anxiously, crossing his fingers and hoping that this was it, but then she jammed the button and the claw came down, missing it by less than a millimeter. She groaned, and then slammed her hand onto the glass with such force that Ben started to panic.

“David! Chill out! We might get in trouble.” He whisper-shouted, watching as she calmed herself down. Devi had always been the resident hothead. Her anger was a trait that he weirdly admired at times. 

“Listen up, nerd.” She said, looking over at Ben. “I know about your extra arcade card.”

Ben felt weirdly disappointed, realizing that once again, Devi was only being nice to him to get something in return. It made sense, but was also a bit of a letdown. He placed a hand on his pocket protectively, raising an eyebrow. 

“If I get Buzz Lightyear for you, I get your extra card. I already ran out of points on my own card, so...” She stated, as if she was making some sort of business deal. He bit back a remark about probably being able to get the toy faster by himself, because he didn’t want her to leave him alone. He'd rather tolerate her snide remarks at him than be stranded by himself.

So he nodded, crossing his arms as he leaned against the machine, bemusedly watching Devi swipe his card for the second time, attempting yet again. Her eyebrows furrowed, and her forehead crinkled, as she carefully watched the claw move. The claw came down, successfully grabbing the toy, and her eyes widened, but then the toy slipped out of the claw midair, and her face heated up in anger.

Ben would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy watching her go from a focused expression, to a hopeful one, to frustration. She was very expressive, and that was partly why it had always been easy for him to read her like an open book. That’s why it was a walk in the park to get on her nerves all the time. (Although when it came to analyzing what she thought of him, it was harder than reciting all the numbers of Pi)

He glanced down at his watch, clicking his tongue. “Damn, it’s already December? I _swear_ to God it was November a minute ago.” He teased, and Devi shoved him, but she was laughing so loudly, endearingly, and sweetly, that it made his heart skip a beat.

She didn’t laugh with him like that often, and so he cherished this moment, clicking a photograph with his eyes and saving it into a file in his brain. 

A few minutes passed of them laughing with each other, going from hopefulness to frustration at the stupid machine, until a miracle happened and the claw decided to be their friend for once, lifting the toy and dropping it off at the right stop. They watched in awe as the toy came through the hole at the bottom, and Devi lifted it up, admiring her hard work.

She handed Buzz to him, smirking, and Ben took it from her with an equally big smile on his face. “Thanks.”

“It’s no big deal. Wait, we kind of wasted all the points on your card.”

_Oh,_ Ben mouthed, staring at his now useless card in silence. He hasn’t even gotten the chance to play any other game in the arcade. Devi looked at him guiltily, twiddling with her thumbs. 

The extra arcade card came from his own money that he had saved up by mowing his neighbor's lawn. It was a luxury that _he_ had treated himself to for once, instead of his parents. But he remembered Devi’s smile, and her excitement at the sound of getting to play more arcade games minutes ago, so he shrugged, pulling his extra card out and placing it into her palm. 

“A deal is a deal.” He said, stuffing his hand into his pocket. To be fair, he didn’t need to play any arcade games to lighten up his day, because spending time with her had been eventful enough for him.

“Look. I know it isn’t really fair to you because you spent all your credits trying to get a toy clearly for someone else… you’re not the type to like Toy Story.”

The fact that Devi knew that he didn’t like Toy Story surprised Ben, in a good way.

“I think that you deserve to play some other games,” She took a deep breath before continuing. “So, maybe, we could share this extra card? Games of your choice! I’ll just play with you. If you’d like that.”

Ben widened his eyes at Devi’s thoughtful proposal. It didn’t take much pondering for him to come to the conclusion that he would, very much, _like that._

“Sure, David.” He said, grinning, and so they walked side by side, running to the other end of the arcade room together.

He didn’t exactly know why she was being nice this time, and he struggled to think of a reason. Maybe it was because she wanted the opportunity to beat him at more games? 

But then he took her in as they were running to the air hockey game, realizing that he didn’t have to wonder what the reason was. Half of him liked it when Devi was nice to him, and because that was so confusing, so confusing that he wondered whether this could be his early existential crisis, there was no need to go further than that.

* * *

**t h r e e -** **_for his pizza_ **

Being alone was kind of becoming his thing.

Ben sat at an empty table in the cafeteria, staring at his untouched pizza slice. Brian and Garrett had band practice during lunch, and so the Jewish boy was abandoned, _sans_ any friends. 

“Oh my god! Fab!” He heard Devi exclaim, from a few tables across his. She had a huge smile on her face, as she laughed with her two friends. Ben wanted to blame Devi for not being able to join band with his friends- thanks to the stupid pact he made with her at the beginning of the school year, where they had decided to split all the school clubs in half, she’d taken band before he could even beg her for it.

He wondered what Devi was doing here, since she should have been at band practice right now. But more alarming than that, his mind wandered to a secluded part of his brain, the part where unwanted thoughts about his nemesis lied. She looked pretty in her scarlet dress (she always looked good in red), and her smile was so wide and stunning that it made Ben feel disappointed that she would never smile at _him_ like that.

Ah, puberty was really starting to hit sixth-grade Ben hard, huh?

He shut those thoughts down quickly though, because he knew that was not what he truly wanted. He liked it when she was mean to him, and when he was mean to her, because they hated each other. That was their role in each other’s lives- to try and bring each other down at any given opportunity. Two rivals becoming friends would ruin everything.

Devi turned around, and her brown orbs locked with his blue. She raised an eyebrow, and tilted her head slightly to the side, wondering why he was staring at her. Ben gasped, immediately looking down at his pizza, but it was too late. Devi was already striding towards him, with a smirk on her face.

She stopped in front of him, smoothing out the front of her dress. Ben groaned, preparing for her to yell at him, or to roast him, but instead, she crossed her arms, sighing. “Wanna sit with us?”

_Oh god, not again. She’s being creepily nice,_ Ben thought, and he thinned his lips out in a straight line, squinting his eyes at her. “Haha. So funny. Leave me _alone_.” He deadpanned, rolling his eyes. 

“I’m being serious, Gross. But if you don’t say yes in five seconds, I’m gonna walk away and pretend like this _never_ happened. And then you can eat your lunch _alone,_ just like every other Wednesday.”

He looked up at her, and there was something genuine in the way she was gazing at him right now. It was excruciatingly weird, Devi asking him to sit with her friends, but he knew there must be another reason like always, so he stood up reluctantly with his pizza in his hand, and followed her to her lunch table.

He awkwardly waved his hand at Fabiola and Eleanor, who hesitantly waved back. 

The three continued their conversation, talking about Rainbow Loom and why it was a fad with statistical proof to back it all up. And although their conversation was _ridiculously_ nerdy, Ben couldn’t help but join in, quipping his own input and facts that he knew off the top of his head.

He wouldn’t ever admit it, but it was fun talking with Devi and her friends. No matter how dorky he thought they were, they were a lot like him at the end of the day. Smart, curious, and different. 

Ben was finally about to take a bite from his pizza, but Devi stopped him, eyes widened. “Can I get one slice?” She asked, but she took the slice from him before he could even give her an answer. 

_Ah,_ Ben thought. _That’s why she called me over here._

Once again, he felt a little bummed that she wasn’t trying to be nice to him, but was just using him for some other reason. But hey, it was better this way. It made more sense, right? Devi loved pizza, her Mom wouldn’t ever pack pizza for lunch because it was unhealthy, she'd skipped out on band practice, so she’d seen him sitting alone and decided to call him over to eat with them so that she could get a slice. Simple.

He watched her munch on the pizza excitedly, moaning and making all sorts of weird noises at how good the pizza was. Ben smiled to himself, taking it as a compliment, because he’d made the pizza at home (his parents were in Las Vegas living it up under the excuse of some business trip). 

She finished eating, and wiped off some crumbs using her fingers, but she left some sauce behind on her lips. “Devi...” He started, pointing to his lip, but she didn’t get the hint. So, he took a tissue out of his pocket and leaned forward, bringing the tissue to her mouth.

Ben wiped the remnants of the tomato sauce off, and her lips felt so much softer than he thought they were, even with the tissue coming in between. For a split-second, something in the way she looked up at him changed. His heart also did something, but he ignored it, because there was a huge chance it was simply nothing. 

He pulled away, clearing his throat. “The sauce. I-It’s gone now.” He stuttered, balling his hands into fists.

The school bell rang, startling them, and breaking the weird tension that was settling between them. As they packed their stuff up, Ben wondered whether he should do the nice thing and express how grateful he was to her for letting him sit with them, but before he could even say anything to Devi, she was off, walking fast away from him with her cheeks flushed red.

So he turned to Fabiola and Eleanor instead. “Thanks for letting me sit with you guys. It was probably one of your ideas anyways.” He said, sighing. 

Fabiola exchanged glances with Eleanor, who shook her head. “Actually, no. It was Devi’s idea.” She stated, crossing her arms. 

“Anyways,” Fabiola said. “It’s nice when you’re civil. It was cool eating lunch with you.”

As he watched the two run to catch up with the girl in red who was miles ahead, Ben’s mind spun. Had she really wanted his pizza that bad? So bad that she managed to tuck away her pride and ask her enemy to sit with her?

Part of him wondered whether there was another reason, that was buried deep inside and hidden. A kinder, more genuine reason, but it was Devi in question. There was no way she'd _willingly_ want to be nice to him… that was asking for too much.

So he shrugged it off, shoving his lunch container into his backpack. Maybe she loved pizza way more than he originally thought she did. 

* * *

**f o u r -** **_for a band-aid_ **

“Gross!”

He watched the volleyball fly at him in godspeed, directly towards his face, and he could imagine himself knocked out on the floor, maybe with blood coming out of his nose (if the universe was wanting to add some _spice_ to make things more interesting), but it didn’t end up being the _ball_ that pinned him to the floor.

It was Devi.

She extended her hand out, jumping in front of him to hit the ball up, to save their team from losing, but she swung her arm with such force and such terrible aim that, although the ball did go flying up and to another one of their teammates, her arm flew backwards, hitting Ben right on the nose. 

He jumped backwards, yelping, clutching his nose with his hands, but then his foot got caught on the extra net near the benches, and he flew once again, this time landing on his arse.

All he could see were stars, and pain shot up his spine. He didn’t really feel aching in his foot until a girl screamed and yelled, “His foot! It’s deformed!”, which roused panic amongst the class, and Ben himself.

He mustered the strength to lean forward, peering at his foot, and there it was, entangled with the nets, in all of its swollen, twisted, bruised glory. Of course this disaster had to happen the _one_ day he didn’t skip gym class to work out with his personal trainer (Eighth-grade gym class was sweaty and gross- plus, he hated the idea of locker room nudity). He thanked God that his shoe was still on, because he didn’t want to imagine what the rest of his naked ankle was looking like. _Probably ugly,_ he thought. _And disgusting._

“Someone get him to the office!” The teacher ordered, examining his foot from afar. No one in the class budged, of course. Brian and Garrett weren’t in his class this year, so he really had no friends to even help him. 

“I will.” Devi spoke, walking up to him. He instinctively groaned, trying to use his arms to shift away from her on the ground. “Get the hell away from me,” He seethed, pointing at her threateningly, but the position he was in didn’t really help his case. 

It was really her fault that he was lying on the floor with a nearly mutilated foot (it really didn’t look that bad, just a little twisted and purple), in terrible pain. He felt like Micheal from that episode in The Office, when he burned his foot on his Foreman Grill, and wondered whether it hurt this much for him too. 

“Oh, come on Ben. Nobody else wants to.” Devi muttered under her breath, hoping the teacher wouldn’t hear. She carefully stretched the net out, and slid it off Ben’s foot, who winced. Once his mangled foot was free, she slipped an arm under his, pulling him up slowly. 

“Ow…” Ben whimpered, biting his lip to stop himself from crying. He rested his weight on Devi, letting his arm wrap around her shoulders. She then started walking, at an extremely fast pace, which Ben shrieked at. 

“What?” Devi asked, annoyed, but then her exasperated expression turned to worry. 

“Slow down.” Ben murmured, avoiding eye contact. He felt like a complete baby, leaning against her and letting her do all the work. She heeded his request, and together, they walked out of the gymnasium. Ben ignored all their classmates staring at them curiously, partly in shock at Devi offering to help someone she was known to hate.

Actually, it was a huge surprise to Ben himself, but he was starting to get used to her being kind to him randomly. He learnt that once in two years, Devi would do nice things for him sporadically, but they’d always have some sort of other reason that he frankly didn't want to ponder about (even though he always did).

“Why the hell are _you_ helping me? You said you were praying for me to get hit by a car yesterday at our lockers.” He whined. Devi rolled her eyes. “I need to get a band-aid from the office for my arm. I got hurt too,” She explained, stopping her stride to use her free hand to point to her cut. 

It was pretty minuscule, and laughably tiny, but she seemed pretty serious about it, and he didn’t want to piss her off and have his only means of transport storm off and abandon him, so he kept quiet.

“Yeah, sure.” He replied, trying not to snicker. 

It took fifteen minutes to even get to the end of _one_ corridor, and Ben heaved with the weight of his own leg, having to carefully drag it across the floor continuously. Suddenly, a random spike of pain shot up his ankle, and it felt so internal that Ben gasped, gripping Devi’s arm tightly.

She looked up at him worriedly, and her hold on him grew stronger. Her arm squeezed his waist, trying to support him. “I’m fine.” He muttered, looking down at her with half-lidded eyes. 

_Oh god_. Devi was really pretty up close. Her chocolate skin glimmered under the light of the school hallways, and her eyes were so big and bright and _brown_ , the color of the tea that he loved to drink every morning. Her lips were slightly parted, and they were so pink that it startled Ben- were her lips always this pretty? Her hair was tied in a messy bun that lied sloppily on her head, barely holding itself up, and he found himself drowning in his thoughts about how pretty her unruly hair was, and _wow,_ she was fucking _pretty._

She was pretty. 

Ben Gross found Devi Vishwakumar pretty.

He blinked his eyes, widening them, shaking his head and trying to bring himself back to normal. But nothing changed- he was still finding her pretty. Even in her sweaty gym clothes, she was pretty. Pretty, pretty, pretty-

“Shut up!” Ben exclaimed, _outloud,_ and Devi peered at him, confused. “Uh… not to you. I was talking to myself. Well. I. Uh. See, the thing is-”

He rambled on and on, trying to somehow explain why he randomly yelled the words _shut up_ without revealing the real embarrassing reason, but he ran around in circles with his terrible wording until Devi finally placed her fingers on his lips, effectively shutting him up.

“Stop.” She said, letting her fingers slide off his mouth, and it burned where she had them placed seconds ago. He imagined weird things, like what it would feel like to have her lips replace where the pads of her fingers were-

Hormones! Stupid, _stupid_ hormones. Puberty was going rough for him, that was for sure.

They trudged forward, panting, and feeling tired. Eventually, they could see the office around the corner, so Ben pointed to the bench near them, signaling for a short break. Devi understood what he was insinuating, so she walked with him to the bench, and after helping him sit, plopped herself down beside him. 

“Thanks, David.” He said genuinely, looking at her fondly. Devi shrugged, trying to hide what seemed to be a linger of a smile on her lips. “It’s whatever. Plus, I sorta hit you accidentally in the _first_ place, so… we’re even now.”

Ben glued his eyes to the mural in front of them, not wanting to look down at his leg. He knew that if he looked at it, he’d focus on the pain even more, and his body could only take so much. “I’ve never wanted to die this bad in my life,” He muttered, rubbing his eyes with his hands.

“It wasn’t even that embarrassing. You weren't in my third grade class, right?" She asked, and Ben shook his head.

"I wasn't."

"Well, once, I sent an email to my third grade teacher, panicking about how I forgot to write my name on my test. Ended up sending the entire _class_ the email instead.” 

“No way!” Ben exclaimed, laughing. Devi groaned in embarrassment.

“It gets even worse. I ended the email off with ‘ _f_ _rom a stressed out student, Devi_ ’, as a _joke,_ but my teacher took it seriously. So the next day in class, she ended up talking about how a student emailed her about how stressed they were and that we should all, quote unquote, _'_ _take it easy',_ but she didn’t know that the entire class got the email and knew it was from me!”

“Oh god…” Ben exasperated, laughing. Her funny story managed to take his attention off of his broken foot, at least temporarily. 

“Yeah, I know. I was a real loser.”

“ _Was?_ Or is?” Ben teased, and she shoved his shoulder lightly, smirking. “Shut up,” She muttered, lightheartedly. “You can’t be talking.”

He smiled softly, chuckling. “David, we’re technically both nerds. That’s enough to make us both losers.”

“At least we’ll graduate! Can’t speak for the rest of the grade.”

“Oh! Damn, savage.” Ben said, smirking. She raised her hand up, and Ben stared at it unsure, until he realized what she was trying to do. He brought his hand up to hers, slapping it, and their hands stayed connected by their palms for a second longer than necessary, until she took her hand back.

“I know, I am.”

A few beats of silence followed. Ben tried his best not to look at the girl sitting beside him. Now that everything was quiet, it was all finally sinking in. She’d helped him, joked with him, and high-fived him. Would everything go back to normal rivalry tomorrow? Judging by the way she wasn’t saying anything, he wondered whether she was thinking of the same thing.

Devi tapped her foot on the floor, staring at the tile pattern quietly. “Let’s go.” She murmured, elbowing him lightly.

Together, they walked to the office, and Devi pushed the door open while grunting, trying to hold Ben and the door at the same time. He noticed how much she was struggling, so he shifted all his weight on his good leg, leaning against the door and becoming less heavy for her.

She smiled at him gratefully, and led him inside. The office was a little cooler than the musty hallways, and he shivered.

“My god!” The secretary exclaimed, looking at Ben’s leg. He shot her an awkward smile (because what else were you supposed to do in this situation) and gave her a thumbs up. Shocked, the lady pressed her fingers against her temples, before walking to her desk. 

“What’s your name?” She asked, sounding annoyed.

“Ben Gross- AH!” He yelled, gripping onto the wall behind him. 

So far, he’d been feeling the pain only periodically, spiking up and then going back down to a dull, constant pain. He assumed this was a spike up.

“You kids… how did this even…? Okay. Y’know what? I’m… just gonna call your parents, okay? Our nurse isn’t equipped enough to handle this.”

His parents? Oh shit.

“Well, they’re not home… right now.” He explained, ignoring Devi’s look of pity. “So, can you just call the backup number listed? It’s my housekeeper’s.”

“Of course you have a housekeeper...” Devi muttered, rolling her eyes. 

“At least you have present parents.” Ben retorted, and she shrugged in defeat.

The lady punched in some numbers, and talked to who he assumed to be Patty on the phone for a few seconds before hanging up. “Okay, she’s coming. Stay seated in the meanwhile.” The secretary then glanced at Devi, clicking her tongue. “Your friend can leave.”

“Not my friend-”

“No, I’ll stay.” Devi interrupted Ben, who was shocked. Why did she want to stay?

“You have to leave, I’m sorry.” 

Devi turned to look at Ben, with a soft and delicate gaze, worry laced in her eyes. But then her expression darkened, and she swiveled back around, so quickly that Ben wondered whether her soft look at him was a figment of his imagination. “Uh, no, I need a band-aid… before I leave.”

The secretary nodded, and buried through her drawer trying to find a band-aid. She handed it to her, and Devi took it, trying to open the wrapper, but she couldn't tear it.

“Devi,” Ben spoke from behind her. “I… I can help you open it.” It was the least he could do for her, considering how much she'd helped him in this shitty situation.

She stared at him with furled eyebrows, but eventually walked over, taking a seat on the chair next to him. He took the bandage from her, carefully searching for the tear line, and pulled it open with his fingers. He then took it apart, and yanked the band-aid out, throwing the wrapper into the garbage can nearby.

“Thanks,” She said, biting her bottom lip. He nodded in response, ignoring how weird it felt to hear her thank him. She reached for the band-aid, but Ben pushed her hand away, shaking his head. “It’s behind your arm, near your elbow. You won’t be able to put it on yourself.” He explained rushedly, and grabbed her arm gently, holding it up. 

He could feel her burning stare on him as the pads of his warm fingers came in contact with her cold skin, and carefully stuck it onto the cut, making sure it was perfect (he didn’t want Devi complaining about it).

He pulled away, and her cheeks seemed a little red. “T-Thanks,” She stuttered, repeating herself and barely making eye contact. “Ugh, I hate band-aids. They always stick to my arm hair and they’re a pain in the ass to pull off.” She added on in mock frustration, trying to change the mood, and Ben caught on, laughing.

“I feel ya…” He teased, holding his hairy arm up, and Devi shoved him playfully. 

“Ben, my dear!” 

Patty came rushing through the door, gasping and shaking her head in pity and empathy for the injured boy. He smiled awkwardly, and Devi smirked, taken aback by how expressive his housemaid was. 

“Come on honey. Let’s get you to the doctor’s.” She said, lifting him up. As soon as he felt her arm go under his knees, he started panicking, but it was too late. He was in her arms, and she was lifting him up bridal style. Blood rushed up to his face in embarrassment, and the embarrassment was so bad that he forgot about the pain in his foot. 

“See you when you recover, Ben!” Devi exclaimed, snickering. With crimson cheeks, he rolled his eyes, waving back at her reluctantly, as Patty carried him out of the office. 

This was all so embarrassing, and painful. He hated this situation, despised the fact that he’d broken his foot, felt humiliated with his exit. He was disappointed that this meant he’d miss school for one week and then get made fun of by Devi for the remaining months he had his stupid cast on. 

But when he peeked over Patty’s shoulder to sneak one last glance at Devi through the glass window, he saw she was smiling- smiling in the special way that he kinda sort of loved- and the best part was that it was finally because of him. 

_Maybe all of this wasn’t so bad after all,_ he thought.

* * *

**f i v e -** **_for his homework answers_ **

“Ben,” Devi called out from where she was sitting at her desk behind him.

“Dude. Dude!”

He turned around, placing his arm on his chair. “What?” He snapped, annoyed. 

“How was your weekend?”

Ben rolled his eyes and turned back around, gluing his focus to the board in front. “Fine, I guess.” He answered curtly, not wanting to look back at her. He heard her tap her pencil on her desk. “Cool. I had a pretty shitty weekend. Freshman year isn’t going all that great.” She replied nonchalantly, as if they were friends and this was normal for them.

Ben sighed. Today was another one of those days, he realized, that Devi was going to be weirdly nice to him. She’d greeted him with a string of curses just yesterday, so why was she asking him all these nice questions now?

“Your shirt’s cool. Never seen what movie that is, but that looks like Andy Samberg. And I like Andy Samberg. Y’know, Brooklyn Nine-Nine? Jake Peralta?”

_It’s not a movie on my shirt, it’s a band,_ he thought, and gritted his teeth, ignoring her. He stole various glances at the clock, patiently waiting for Mr. Shapiro to walk in and for class to start. It was starting to become painful and quite frankly confusing, having to hear Devi ask him genuinely nice questions. She was _not_ his friend, and he wasn’t hers. 

“Is that the necklace you wore at your Bar Mitz-”

“What the hell is your problem?” He seethed, whipping around angrily. She furrowed her eyebrows, pulling her long sleeves over her hand awkwardly. “Huh? What’s wrong?” She asked, seeming a little… hurt?

Okay, this was getting ridiculous.

“This,” He said, motioning to the space between them with his hand. “Whatever _this_ is. Why are you being nice to me?”

“I’m so _sorry_ I tried to make pleasant conversation with you for _once_.” She retorted sarcastically, scoffing. He rolled his eyes, laughing dryly. “Be real with me, Devi. What’s the real reason? What the hell do you want from me? Money?”

“Okay, first of all, I am not a gold digger. And even if I was, I wouldn’t settle for _you_ out of all the hotter rich guys on the planet.” She retorted, and Ben relished the insult, sensing some returned normalcy.

“Secondly, I do not need a reason to be nice to you. Why do you always assume that-”

“Good afternoon, my lovely freshmen!” Mr. Shapiro announced, walking through the door. Ben turned back around, folding his hands together, trying to ignore his mind reeling. What was she going to say? That she was being nice to him because she genuinely wanted to be nice to him? What a joke!

“Before we continue with our lesson, I need to talk to Ben about something. Get into your groups in the meanwhile!”

Ben groaned, as he watched Mr. Shapiro lean down in front of him. The rest of the class walked around to find their group members, but he could feel all of them staring at him curiously. 

“I heard from a certain, _nameless_ somebody, that you went into the ladies bathroom yesterday afternoon, with your phone camera.”

The entire class gasped, and Ben widened his eyes in shock. “What?! I wasn’t- I didn’t do that!” He yelled defensively, straightening up. Who the hell had lied about that? Who was trying to tarnish his reputation?

“I’m afraid I’ll have to keep you after school for a short while-”

“You’re giving me _detention?_ ” He asked incredulously while standing up, accidentally pushing his chair back with the sudden movement. The legs of the chair screeched against the floor, and Mr. Shapiro got up, startled. 

“Listen, Ben-” 

“I’m getting detention for something I didn’t even do?!”

“Hey, it’s just school procedure. The principal isn't here today. I have to check the security cameras, so that's why I have to keep you here.”

Ben grunted, starting to feel furious. “Who framed me?” He questioned, scanning the room. His eyes landed on Devi, who seemed to be a little fidgety. He narrowed his eyes at her, clenching his jaw. It all made sense. She was being weirdly nice to him since lunch break, and maybe it was guilt? Or was this her tactic to make him think it wasn't her?

“You!” He yelled, pointing a finger at her accusingly, and she widened her eyes. “You did this, didn’t you? That’s why you’re being nice to me!”

A flash of hurt passed her face, and she rolled her wheelchair closer to him, shaking her head. “I didn’t!” She exclaimed, defensively.

Ben faced Mr. Shapiro, straightening himself out and regaining his composure. “I want her to stay after school with me, while you check the footage. Once you see that I _didn’t_ sneak inside the ladies bathroom, you can interrogate _her_ on why she did this to me!”

“But I didn’t! Ben, listen-”

“Stop!” Mr. Shapiro shrieked, pressing his fingers to his temple. “Devi,” He said, taking a deep breath. “Are you okay with staying after school for a short while?”

Ben expected her to lash out in protest, but she nodded instead. “Okay.”

She shot Ben one last angry glare before rolling back to her spot. He ignored the feeling of remorse at accusing her of something he had no proof of, but he couldn’t think of anyone else who would do something like that to him. 

The period went by fast and eventually the class was empty, with the exception of Ben, Devi, and Mr. Shapiro. 

“Okay, listen. Originally, I wouldn’t be allowed to leave you two alone in class, much less Ben with a girl, you know, cause you’re an accused pervert…” 

Ben winced at the accusation. God, this was a nightmare.

“But I trust you, Ben. And as long as Devi’s okay with being left alone with you, I think I can check the security footage without you guys accompanying me. Is that okay?”

Devi nodded, and so Mr. Shapiro exited, treading fastly. An awkwardness settled upon them, and things felt more tense than they had ever been before.

“I’m not the one who accused you of this, Gross.” She spoke, breaking the silence.

“Oh yeah? Then who else would, Devi? No one else here hates me more than you.”

“I don’t hate you…” She muttered, quietly under her breath, so quietly that Ben barely heard it.

“Well, you definitely don’t like me! You shoved my sandwich down my shirt just a few days ago.”

“That was because you broke my pencil in half!”

“Yes, because that was so _evil_ of me that I deserved your irrational reaction. Really, Devi?”

She sighed, closing her eyes momentarily. He knew she wanted to kick him real bad, but sadly she couldn’t, thanks to her impairment. “Listen, I really didn’t do this. I _swear,_ man. I swear.” She begged, folding her hands together.

Seeing how adamant Devi was about not being the culprit, Ben loosened up, relaxing a little. “Fine. But if it really isn’t you, then why were you being nice to me today?”

“It’s literally just because I wanted to!” She retorted, flailing her arms into the air.

“Yeah, right. Be honest!” Ben scoffed, laughing dryly. It was ridiculous to even think about Devi wanting to be nice to him for the sole sake of being kind, or even liking his existence. No one hated him more than her, and the feeling was mutual (well, not exactly, because Ben definitely liked her presence being around much more than he’d like to admit, which is why it hurt him a little when Devi would always go out of her way to screw him over).

“I am! Ugh, okay. You won’t believe me unless I give you some reason, right?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, well… I… uh…” Devi trailed off, and it almost seemed like she was scratching her head for a response, burying deep inside her brain to find an answer suitable enough. “I... wanted your homework answers! Yeah,” She finished off, forcing a smile.

“Really?” Ben asked, suspiciously. 

“Yeah. I found today’s chemistry homework hard, so I decided I would be nice to you towards the end of the day to get your homework answers, since you’re always a day ahead and finishing them during lunch.”

It sounded believable enough, so he decided to take her word for it. “Oh.”

“Yeah... _Oh._ ” She parroted, clearly annoyed, but that annoyance quickly faded away into something more light and playful. “So…”

“My weekend wasn’t fine. It was shitty. My parents left me… so.” Ben said, answering her question from earlier, but this time truthfully. Her eyes lit up at him showing interest in making nice conversation, and she leaned her head against the headrest of her wheelchair with a grin on her face.

“But wasn’t it Family Day? Long weekend?”

“My parents usually forget they have a son, so… y’know, if they were always planning on leaving me alone this often, they should have at least given me a sibling.” He said, shrugging. He liked to joke often about how his life was like a really depressing, twisted version of Home Alone. Honestly, so much of his anxiety now was pent up inside of young Ben, since he was left alone so often as a child at late hours that he’d beg Patty to stay with him until the night passed, trying to ward off panic attacks. 

“Damn, dude. That sucks.” Devi muttered, wheeling closer to his desk. 

“So, how’s the new ride?” He asked with a smile on his face, averting the topic.

“What?” She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, so Ben pointed to her wheelchair. “Oh… it’s cool. I get to roll around the hallways. I see everyone from their ugliest angle- below. It’s so fun to make people feel uncomfortable and insecure every time I talk to them.” 

Ben laughed, turning his chair to face her. “Sounds cool.”

“It’s not so fun all the time, though.” She added on, a little sadly. Ben could sense her slipping back into bad memories, so he cleared his throat, trying to change the topic yet again. 

“How’s your family?” He asked.

“They’re cool, I guess. Guess I’m the only fuck-up.”

Ben felt his heart twinge at Devi’s harsh words. Why was she so hard on herself? “You’re not a fuck up…” He whispered.

“Really? Cause my Mom screams at me like there’s no tomorrow. I haven’t seen her cry over Dad _once_. So she’s clearly moved on. Everybody thinks I’m still sad over my dad’s death and that I’m lame…”

“It isn’t lame to grieve your father.”

“Whatever. It is. Everyone pities me and shit… I hate that. I just wanna move on.” Devi said, rolling her eyes. She played with her wheelchair’s armrest, plucking out any stray strands of thread. “By the way, thanks for treating me normally. I appreciate it.” She murmured, so quietly that Ben almost missed it. 

“It’s no big deal.” 

Actually, when he’d first heard the news about Devi’s dad, he’d broken down in the school bathroom, sobbing into his sleeve inside a nasty smelling stall. He’d known Mohan since he was a kid, and whenever his parents failed to show up to his competitions or congratulate him, Mohan was always there, encouraging him and helping him out with his Science Fair stuff when his fiery daughter wasn’t looking. 

Worst of all, he’d noticed how close Devi was to her father- he was the only one that she would always be smiling around. Young Ben was always jealous of the relationship she had with her father. So, imagining how hurt she must have been, especially watching her father die right in front of her… it sounded traumatic. Something he wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy.

Not even Devi.

He had tried to not pick on her in class, or even at their lockers. She would always point out his ugly shoes, or his wrong answer in class, wittingly insulting him from her wheelchair, but he’d nod and force a smile silently, trying to hold back on his banter. However, after a few days passed, he noticed that his silence was causing her to go further down into a spiral, and her grades started to drop, as well as her willingness to participate in class.

It was then he realized that they were each other’s driving forces- the only reason they were both doing so well was because of the rivalry between them. So, the next day, when Devi muttered a _‘I don’t know’_ to Mr. Shapiro’s question, he had raised his hand smugly, answering the question with a smirk, and a snide comment about _'_ _catching David slacking'._ She had turned around with a surprised grin on her face, retorting back with some mediocre comeback happily.

Mr. Shapiro had pulled him aside later that day, urging him to lay off Devi, but he’d refused, telling him that he knew what she needed the most from him. He wasn’t her friend, and the last thing she’d want was pity, which she was getting from everyone she knew already. What she needed was normalcy- and she didn’t need to tell him that directly for him to understand. 

“So. What about your love life?” Ben questioned, bravely. He couldn’t think of any conversation starters, and a small part of him was curious as to how Devi was doing in that field (because he was doing a shitty job, and it would make him feel better if his rival was just as unlucky in the pursuit of love as he was).

“What about it? I don’t like anyone. Why would you assume that I like-” She rambled on and on, crossing her arms. Ben was caught off guard at how defensive she sounded, and he widened his eyes. “I wasn’t, sheesh. I’ll go first.” He interjected, shaking his head. 

“You know that girl that sits in front of me in Biology?” 

Devi stared at him blankly, shaking her head.

“Short hair?”

She tilted her head, still lost.

“The one who said mitochondria was the powerhouse of the cell when asked about what ribosomes do?”

“Ohhh… Shira?!” 

Ben groaned. Of course that was her one identifier. 

“No way… I mean. She’s… her… and you’re… you.” Devi stammered, struggling to word her thoughts correctly. Ben scoffed at the insult, but he couldn’t really retort, because she was right. To be fair, he didn't really like Shira, actually he knew nothing about her, but she was attractive, and it would benefit both of them if they ever dated. Him socially, and her intellectually. (Also, it meant he could stop thinking about Devi in a way that was weird for him to be doing)

“Gee, thanks. I mean, I know she’s out of my league, but I don’t think I’m _that_ ugly.” He retorted playfully, getting up from his chair to lean against his desk. 

“I wasn’t talking about that. I meant… well she’s… kind of… ditsy?” Devi explained, looking up at Ben. 

“She isn’t _ditsy,_ just… slow. And obsessed with her phone.” Actually, she was pretty ditsy at least academically, but she was probably smart in other creative fields, like art and music, and that wasn’t anything to shame someone for. At the end of the day, all he wanted was a girl who had some personality, and who’d pay him any attention (also a girl that would distract him from the tiny butterfly that would flutter in his stomach every time he had a decent conversation with Devi).

“Her hashtags make me want to kill myself. I mean, #selflove, #selfcare, #selfloveandcare, #byeinsacuraties, with some i’s replaced with a’s for... some reason.” Devi said, laughing. 

“She’s pretty! And I’m rich.” Ben exclaimed jokingly, suppressing a smile.

“True. I just… you both don’t seem like you’d get along. But whatever.” 

Ben cocked an eyebrow at her, leaning in a little closer. “Why do you care so much?”

She rolled her eyes, but the blush in her cheeks was noticeable. “No reason!” She sputtered, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

“Who do _you_ like?” Ben asked, pointing a finger at her. 

“I like y-” Devi placed a hand over her mouth, widening her eyes. Ben’s mouth gaped open, moving back in shock. Was she going to say what he thought she was going to say?

“I like y-your friend… Paxton Hall-Yoshida.” She continued, but a little unconvincingly. Ben shriveled up, admittedly a little disappointed. He was really expecting something… 

Different.

“Paxton is not my friend, the fuck?” He pointed out, running a hand through his hair.

“Oops. I thought he was.”

Ben loosened up, un-clenching his jaw. Honestly, it made sense. Paxton was the resident hottie, and it wasn’t unbelievable for Devi to like him. Paxton made every boy in Sheridan Oaks High feel bad about himself… that’s how attractive he was. 

“He’s kind of… dumb too though. Like Shira.” Ben muttered under his breath, and Devi scoffed. 

“Paxton is not dumb! He’s just… consistently apathetic towards his schoolwork.”

“Mh, okay. Can’t believe you lectured me about wanting to date someone way outta my league, yet you’re doing the same thing.” He joked, trying to lighten up the mood.

“It’s just a crush! He’d never date me. I’m not rich, unlike you. And I’m not very pretty either.” She said, as a piece of hair fell out from behind her ear.

He bit back a comment about her _‘actually being a little pretty’,_ deciding against it. “We can’t have it all, now can we?” He said instead, and she laughed, but seemed a little disappointed, as if she was expecting him to have said something nicer. The stray strand of hair waved back and forth, and he suppressed the urge to tuck it behind her ear for her.

“Okay, you’re in the clear. Turns out it was Robert Raymonds. Actually, it makes sense that his girlfriend would report someone else going to the ladies bathroom to cover for him.” Mr. Shapiro rushedly explained, walking into the classroom with sweat trailing down his forehead. 

“Reina Rodriguez accused me of this? She could have just kept her mouth shut if she wanted to save her boyfriend. Why drag _me_ into it?” Ben said exasperatedly. He looked at Devi guiltily, feeling bad for his accusation on her earlier. She grinned at him knowingly, _I told you so_ written all over her face. 

“I don’t know, but that was so _snake_ of her, right?” Mr Shapiro said, and the two freshmen rolled their eyes at his cringey use of teenage slang. He stared at them blankly, waiting for some laugh or reaction, but unfortunately he didn't get any. “Anyways, you two can go. I have a headache. And now I have to deal with the actual guilty students. Ugh...” He plopped down onto his chair, fumbling through his drawers for what Ben assumed was probably aspirin. 

Ben slung his backpack around one of his arms, and Devi lifted her bag onto her lap. He watched her shake her arms out before pushing the wheels, and couldn’t help but feel a little bad for her. She was clearly exhausted.

So he moved to stand behind her, and pushed her wheelchair for her, leading them out the door after saying goodbye to their teacher. Devi was clearly shocked, but she didn’t say anything until they got to the front door. 

“You didn’t have to do that for me, you know. I have arms.” She said once they left the school, peering up at Ben. He walked around to face her, squatting down a little to level himself with her.

“I know, but you’re clearly tired, so… Plus, it’s my fault you even got stuck here after school. Sorry about that, by the way. I shouldn’t have accused you of doing that to me.”

Devi lopsidedly smiled at him, shrugging. “Eh, it’s okay. I can’t really blame you.” Suddenly, she yelped, jumping up in her chair. “Ow, shit!” She yelled, startling Ben.

“What? What’s wrong?” He asked, panicked, dropping his backpack on the pavement. 

“I think I’m sitting on a safety pin… But I can’t stand up to take it out.” She complained, groaning. 

“You can’t just dig your hand underneath?” He asked, and she rolled her eyes at him as if he’d said something dumb. He clearly didn’t really know much about what it was like to have your legs paralyzed.

“No, I can’t find it! Ugh, it's poking me!” She said, trying to shove her hand underneath her legs, but to no avail.

“Okay, calm down. I’ll help you.” He said, and without thinking, wrapped his arm around her waist, gripping it tightly as he pulled her up. She gasped, circling her arms around his neck, holding onto him tightly. At feeling her shake a little, he tightened his grip on her. “Come on, just hold onto me.” He whispered into her ear encouragingly, as he searched for the safety pin, trying to tune out how good it felt to have her flush against him.

He eventually found it, and grabbed it with his free arm as he held Devi with his other one, throwing the safety pin aside. He let out a sigh, and was about to lower her down into her wheelchair, but she buried herself into the burrow of his neck before he could get the chance. 

“Thank you…” She murmured, and Ben blushed. Would this technically count as a hug? “No problem.” He replied back, before lowering her into her wheelchair.

“Devi! What did you do to get into detention?!” Her Mom yelled from the parking lot, and Ben took that as his signal to take his backpack and get the hell out of there. He prayed that her mother hadn't seen him helping her with the safety pin, because their position could have given her the wrong idea (because they weren’t hugging each other, no, it didn’t _count_ as a hug).

“It wasn’t detention, Mom. Mr. Shapiro just needed us to stay after school. Now let’s _go_.” She said, clearly a little embarrassed of her mother’s abrasiveness. Nalini groaned before rolling Devi to their car. Just as Ben was about to leave, he heard his name.

“Hey, Ben!”

“Yeah, David?” He yelled back, cupping his mouth with his hand to make himself heard better.

"Send me your homework answers over text!" She shouted, and Ben nodded, laughing. 

“Oh! Also... next time I’m nice to you, maybe don’t question why.” She said, and with that unsettling statement, she disappeared with her mother, leaving Ben alone with unfavorable thoughts in his head. 

* * *

**(+1) s i x -** ~~**_for his past exam papers_ **~~ **** ~~**_for his signature_ **~~ **_for ??_ **

After freshman year, things started to get really weird between them. Sophomore year was a whole mess and a half, with them becoming official friends, to her nuking him because apparently he was the one at fault for the whole school finding out about her sex affair with Paxton, to becoming friends with her once again after she’d told him the truth about her huge lie. 

Things only got worse when he’d developed real feelings for her, and she’d moved in, making them even worse (especially after two rejections at his birthday party, which he’d very much like to forget). He’d broken up with Shira that day either way, because he knew he wasn’t getting anywhere with her. Just when he came to terms with Devi not liking him back, she had kissed him in Malibu, and they had made out for a long time in his Dad’s Porsche, years of repressed feelings spilling out onto a messy canvas.

But then she had ran away from him, telling him the next day that the kiss was a mistake and that she’d been overcome with emotions and gratefulness, and how much she wanted Ben to stay as her friend instead. And so he had no choice but to nod and pretend to agree, because he didn’t want to risk losing his only true friend at the moment. 

He ended up losing her anyways, because they drifted apart. Separate classes, separate extra-curriculars, and Paxton was usually taking up most of Devi’s lunch time (plus, Ben didn’t like seeing them mooch off each other’s faces, solely because PDA was disgusting, not because he was jealous or anything… he liked to believe that he had moved on).

Junior year was a terrible year romantically for Ben. He had his on and offs, and a couple out-of-the-blue make out sessions with girls he barely knew the names of, at parties hosted by random classmates. He made new friends, but they were all casual, more like acquaintances, and he longed for the feeling of having a _best_ friend, someone to search for at these gatherings.

He could tell Paxton and Devi were having it rough, though. They were great people individually, but together, they were terrible. They had different interests and thoughts about things. Devi was a hothead, and Paxton was someone who didn’t like being yelled at (Ben was surprised he didn’t have some weird sort of kink for her temper, because he thought it was normal for men like him to find a fiery insult sexy). 

Ben didn’t like throwing parties, but a large house and absent parents made for a lethal combination called chronic _l_ _oneliness,_ which he tired quickly of. So, towards the end of junior year, and the beginning of senior year, he threw various parties, inviting his friends, who would invite their friends and before he knew it, the whole school was at his house.

The couple often got into arguments at parties, and Ben noticed that they would usually happen whenever he threw a party at his own house. It pissed him off, actually, no, it _infuriated_ him that every time he threw a party, these two would become the talk of the town instead.

Halfway into the night, when Ben would successfully get wasted, he’d plop himself onto his couch next to his friends. But then in a blink of an eye, Devi and Paxton would be yelling at each other, arguing and throwing various items of his around (one time she’d smashed his vase onto the ground), and Ben would sit there silently, tuning out their charade.

It was unfair. 

Even when she’d made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him, she was always ruining his parties, his mind, his love life... his life in general. They’d gone back to the normal rivalry in senior year, but it was more mature now, and much more darker. Now, their rivalry was less innocent and more cold, especially considering all that had transpired between them. They were older too, and less naive.

Today was no different. He thought of throwing a nice end of the year party, and so he did, inviting the rest of the grade. Although it was his party, he lingered around his friends but made no effort to converse, zoning out into a half-drunk slumber instead.

Devi had broken up with Paxton once he graduated, and it seemed to be a relatively amicable breakup (that’s what he had heard), and it was believable, considering how calm Devi seemed since senior year started. Speaking of Devi, tonight she was sitting with her two friends, laughing and gossiping about something.

He felt lonelier than ever, and staring at Devi made him reminisce about the past, and their short-lived friendship. He wished that she would do something nice for him sporadically again, like she would usually do every once in a while when they were growing up, but ever since their kiss, she hadn’t done anything nice for him. It had purely been a rivalry, and nothing more. 

Ben hated it.

He watched as she trailed up to a jock, throwing her head back as she laughed. She was wearing a beautiful red dress, and god, it made Ben’s heart beat so fast- 

_Stop it,_ he thought. It was easy to keep his mind off Devi when she was dating Paxton, mainly because she was taken. But now that she was single, his mind couldn’t stop exploring the possibility of them getting together.

She lightly hit the guy's arm in front of her, and the beer in her cup sloshed around. Ben felt his insides burn up, watching her so obviously flirt with another guy. And the fact that the guy was taller, more muscular, and more popular than he would ever be, stirred a weird feeling in his gut. 

Ben had come to realize that Devi always liked boys that looked like a dream, which he wasn’t. He was more like an average dream, like the run of the mill forgettable dreams people usually had. He’d never be good enough for her.

He shook his head, tearing his eyes off her, and made his way to the staircase, but someone tugged on his jacket sleeve, and shoved him onto the wall nearby. 

Ben didn’t know who she was, nor did she know who he was, but he forced himself to let go, and reciprocated when she kissed him. It was sloppy, boring, and frankly, _very_ disgusting, and no matter how much Ben tried to shove his tongue down her throat in some effort to get pleasure, he didn’t feel anything. 

He felt empty instead- broken. Nothing would ever even compare to how he felt in Malibu, kissing the girl of his dreams, or nightmares, or both.

So he pulled away, pushing her off him politely, stumbling as he made his way to the stairs. Suddenly, he heard the sound of yelling from his living room, and Ben ran up to where the commotion was taking place, pushing through people to see what was happening.

There stood Devi, holding her beer bottle, heaving as she glared at the guy she was flirting with moments ago. “You bitch!” He shrieked, hauling a pillow at her, which she dodged. 

“I told you to get off me because I didn’t want you to kiss me! Why the fuck are you making a scene?” She replied, wrapping her arms around herself.

“You _slut,_ ” He seethed, and Ben winced at the derogatory term. “You were flirting with me!”

“That didn’t mean _anything,_ ” She replied, and Fabiola and Eleanor both held one of her hands, trying to protect her. “I didn’t give you consent to touch me like that.”

The guy grunted, before walking closer to her, and Ben contemplated stepping in. He’d always shied away from helping her at parties before (because it wasn't very nemesis-like of him to do), but now it seemed like it was a good idea.

The angry man took the beer bottle from her hand and smashed it onto the ground, glass shards flying everywhere, and the liquid pooled onto the hardwood floor, seeping into a part of the rug. Then, he charged towards her, and Ben didn't know what clicked inside his head, but before he knew it he was standing in front of her protectively, catching the blur of the guy in front raising his arm towards them.

Ben took the blow of his fist, clenching onto his cheek in pain. Devi gasped behind him, tentatively placing a hand onto his upper back to keep him upright. Ben could taste blood, but nothing compared to the anger he felt looking at this guy. Who the hell did he think was?

“Lay off her, man.” Ben said, threateningly, still acting as a barricade between Devi and the guy. 

The jock laughed dryly, crossing his arms. “I see... honestly, the entire time you were talking to me, it seemed like you had someone else on your mind. Is that why you pushed me off? Because you remembered you have a boyfriend?” He asked Devi, pointing to Ben.

“He isn’t my boyfriend, Matt.” Devi replied, so quickly that it seemed to Ben like she hated the thought of it. It kind of hurt, but he pushed it aside. His feelings weren't important right now, her safety was.

“What, so he’s your boy-toy? You two exclusive or what? I mean, I can’t blame you for wanting to cheat on him. He’d be a major downgrade from Paxton.”

Ben was used to hearing grimy insults now and then, but hearing that comparison between him and Paxton hurt more than he’d like to admit. He clenched his jaw, straightening up. “Get the _fuck_ out of my house,” Ben muttered, which prompted Matt to grip the collar of the blue-eyed boy's leather jacket, nearing his face. His breath smelled like rotten cheese and alcohol; and so Ben scrunched his nose up in disgust, which didn’t elicit a good reaction from the other. Within seconds, he was shoved backwards into Devi and her friends, who fell back onto the couch behind them.

Ben managed to catch himself and get back up on his feet, and now his anger was bubbling up and spilling all over the place. He walked up to the nameless guy- no, Matt- once more, pulling him down to his eye level. 

“I said get. The fuck. Out.” He spat out, clenching his teeth. 

“Or what? What are you gonna do? Why are you even standing up for this girl anyways? You hate each other, don’t you?” Matt whispered, chuckling.

Ben let the guy slip away from his hold, pondering his words. They were known rivals. Everybody in twelfth grade knew Ben and Devi as iconic nemeses. Was he embarrassing himself by protecting her? Wasn’t it just the normal human thing for him to do?

“Are you just that lonely? So lonely that you like _this_ girl?! The one that you used to fight with everyday? Really?”

Ben gritted his teeth, knowing what the guy was trying to do, but he couldn’t help but think that… he was right. Was he just lonely? Had he just been overcome by the desperation to have a certain someone in his life? So much so that he started seeing Devi in that way the minute she’d done something nice for him?

“You know she doesn’t care about you. Just like your parents probably don’t care about you. You think we don’t know why you throw parties once every two months?”

He felt his face flush red, and could feel everyone whispering around him. _Lonely,_ his mind repeated. The word _loser_ bounced back and forth in his head, taunting him. 

_No one cares about you._

“She doesn’t care about you. So don’t bother protecting her. Now let me finish my business with her, because it doesn’t concern you. Okay?” Matt threatened, nearing him.

Devi whimpered from behind, and Ben turned around to see her sobbing into Fabiola’s shoulder. It pained Ben so much that his anger was rising up even further. Most of his anger was also frustration- frustration at himself for being so confused. Maybe she didn’t really care about him. So why did he care about _her_ so much?

She was always playing games with him. Whenever she’d done something nice for him, he’d scavenged for a reason, secretly hoping that maybe she was being nice to him just cause. But now he realized that her being nice to him was _mean_ of her to do, because she’d do it once in a while, just to evoke some reaction out of him, to render him even more confused and useless each time. 

He’d been counting, and she’d been nice to him for a total of five times (sophomore year did not count, because that was a weird year in general for them), and each time there was definitely something else she wanted out of it. The first time, she was nice to him for gaining bragging rights about finishing a big puzzle, the second was for his extra arcade card, the third time she wanted his pizza, fourth was because she needed a band-aid, and the fifth time was because she wanted his homework answers. 

Ben often wondered when the sixth was going to happen all throughout junior year, but it never did. And so he came to terms with the fact that the kiss in Malibu had changed things, and that she was never going to be nice to him again, because she had gotten all she wanted from him. She had no reason to be nice to him.

All his emotions piled up; loneliness, because not even his parents cared for him, confusion about Devi and what he meant to her, and anger at this random guy for embarrassing him in front of a crowd at his _own_ party. It was becoming harder and harder to breathe, and suddenly, he lost the ability to think rational thoughts, his breathing becoming hoarse. 

_Lonely._

_Loser._

_No one cares about you!_

_She’s only nice to you when she gets something from it._

_She doesn’t care about you._

_She doesn’t care-_

“I said get the _fuck_ out of my house!” Ben screamed, aggressively pushing Matt onto the floor. He landed on his back, groaning, and everyone watching gasped. He could see from the corner of his eye that everyone had their phones out, clicking this moment and adding it to their stories. He didn't want this ugly moment all over social media, but that was asking for too much from brain dead, bored teenagers.

Matt got up on his feet, glaring at Ben one last time, before he went out the door, and his friends followed.

A sniffling Devi got up from the couch, weakly reaching out for Ben with her hand, but he shoved it away, stepping away from her as if her sole touch was going to burn him.

“No.” Was all he muttered, narrowing his eyes at her. He only remembered downing one bottle of beer, but he was already feeling a little hazy, as he struggled to make out Devi’s expression. It was unclear, just like she was unclear to him. Everything about them was unclear to him.

He could feel his eyes stinging, and his vision started to become glossy, so he made a getaway for the nearest bathroom before everyone could see him cry, ignoring Devi calling out his name. 

He closed the door behind him, forgetting to lock it, and gripped the sink counter tightly. He choked out a sob, and everything followed after. Tears dripped down his cheek and straight into the sink, landing with a _plop_ each time. 

He struggled to face himself in the mirror, scared of his reflection. His eyes were bloodshot red, and a purple spot was starting to bloom on his cheek, where Matt had punched him. There seemed to be a remnant of blood on his lips, and he licked it away with his tongue, but blood resurfaced. 

“Ben?”

He swiveled around to see Devi, who was standing in the doorway. Ben groaned, turning away from her. “Leave me alone.”

She didn't heed his request, and instead stepped inside the small bathroom, closing the door behind her. She leaned against it, holding her hands behind her back. 

“Thank you,” She spoke, and her throat bobbed up and down, in what Ben could assume was a nervous gulp. “You didn’t need to do that for me, but you did.”

Ben didn’t say anything and continued staring at the stained mirror quietly. He didn’t have the energy to muster up a dumb response.

She cleared her throat, taking one step closer to him. “You have every right to be mad at me. I treated you unfairly after Malibu. I know I did.”

It made Ben’s head spin, hearing her say it out loud. “But what Matt said wasn’t true. I do care for you, Ben. I always have.”

_Fuck,_ Ben thought. Was it the sixth time she was going to be nice to him out of nowhere? Had it finally approached, yet again? It was unsettling for him to come to terms with the fact that he didn't _want_ a sixth time, and then a seventh time after that- he wanted something _permanent._

“I know you won’t believe me. But I do care about you.”

Ben closed his eyes, taking a deep breath in as he wiped the tears off his cheeks. “Why the _fuck_ are you still here?” He retorted, voice shaking.

“I wanted to check up on you,” She said softly, taking one step closer to him.

“I don’t need your fake pity.”

“Ben,” Devi said, sighing. At getting no response, she grabbed his arm, but he yanked it away from her angrily. “Ben.” She repeated, louder, firmer. “You really think I don’t care for you?”

Sometimes he let himself believe that she _did_ care for him, but he considered those moments purely induced by delusion. Deep down, he’d always felt she didn't _genuinely_ care for him. Rivals weren’t meant to care for each other anyways (even if they’d kissed once before, and even if he did kind of like, or maybe even love her).

“You don’t. You always do these nice things for me out of nowhere, but that’s because you always get something out of it. So what is it now, huh? Do you want my past exam papers?”

Devi widened her eyes. “What- no!” She sputtered, as if he’s said something ridiculous.

“You want me to sign your yearbook or something? Or some signature that you need from me?” He asked, crossing off reasons in his head as the conversation went on.

“No! Ben, I- every time I’ve been nice to you, it’s because I _wanted_ to be nice to you. Not for anything else.” She said, exasperated. Ben narrowed his eyes at her, not even wanting to consider the possibility of that being true.

“You’re lying. What do you want from me?” He questioned, racking his brain for some possible reason she was trying to comfort him right now, but he couldn’t find any more.

“Nothing.” She answered, calmly, so calmly that it almost made Ben believe she was saying the truth.

“Just… just go away. You’re making my head hurt.” He said, groaning.

“No,” She replied, and she reached her hand up to his face, swiping away the blood on his lip with her fingers. _Oh god..._ Even her sole touch made him want to melt into a puddle of goo.

She then bravely pulled his chin closer to her face by placing her fingers underneath his jaw. “I won’t.” She whispered, and she was dangerously close to him, so close that Ben’s mind started to become foggy. All he could think of was wanting to kiss her.

She hovered her lips over his, and her eyes were half lidded, looking up at him with lust laced in them. And although Ben knew he shouldn’t be doing this, that this could be another one of her dangerous games, he couldn’t help but not move away.

It was when she gently held his upper lip with hers that Devi’s eyes fluttered shut, and Ben closed his eyes too, relishing the electric shock that traveled through his body. She tasted like strawberry chapstick, alcohol, and everything in between, and there was a bit of saltiness as well, which was what he assumed to be the concoction of both of their recent tear shedding.

She deepened the kiss, and he hesitantly brought his hand up to her jaw, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear blindly. His thumb slid over the part where her jaw and neck met, and he let the pads of his fingers slide down her neck slowly. Her fingers rested underneath his chin, trailing across the underside, near his sub-mandibular region. He couldn’t help but shudder- every touch of hers felt like a dream, and god, nothing would ever _compare_ to the way she made him feel, and this was just reminding him of that fact.

They pulled away when they both needed oxygen, gasping for air. It was when Ben could feel reality sink in that he widened his eyes, separating himself from Devi. “What… you’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying.” He stammered, regretting his actions. Kissing her was the dumbest decision he’d made in a while. She clearly didn't like him back, and now with the reminder of how much he loved the feeling of her lips, staying away from her became even more of a painful task.

“I only had one cup of beer, Gross. You’re the one who’s drunk here.”

He burned up in the realization that she was pretty much sober this entire time. “Devi... I’m tired.” He admitted, slouching against the counter. “I’m tired of you giving me false hope. I don’t want you running away again, or going back to telling me how much you want me to get hit by a car the next day. Why are you being nice to me right now?”

“Ben. Didn’t I already tell you to stop searching for a reason?”

“You always had one every other time!”

“They were false.” She said, and Ben whipped his head up at her words.

“What?”

“I didn’t know it back then, but I liked talking to you. That one day in second grade, you looked really cute to me in that little button up shirt. And I felt like being nice to you, so I asked to help you with your stupid puzzle. But then you seemed so distraught by it, by me being nice to you, that I decided to go back to normal the next day. You seemed more comfortable with it.”

Ben was about to speak, but he shut his mouth, letting her continue. “But some days, the urge to knock off on the insults would be unbearable, hence why I’d be nice to you sporadically. I was nice to you because I wanted to, not because I wanted _anything_ from it. Those reasons were all excuses.”

“But… You dated Paxton?”

“That day in Mr. Shapiro’s classroom, I was going to say I liked you, but I decided against it. Actually, I didn't know if I was ready or sure enough to tell you, and I thought you still hated me, judging by how quick you were to accuse me of being the one who tried to frame you. Plus, you told me you liked Shira, so...”

_Oh,_ Ben mouthed, feeling guilty. He'd really screwed himself over.

“I did genuinely like Paxton, but I liked you too much more to let you go.”

“Do you…” He braced himself, clearing his throat. “Do you still like me? Like that?”

“Yeah.” She replied, with such ease that Ben wondered whether she was probably drunk. Or maybe he was super drunk, and imagining this whole thing. 

“So… this entire time I was-”

“Wrong,” Devi interrupted, smirking. “Yeah, you dummy.”

She stared into his eyes for a while, before blinking repeatedly, tearing her gaze away from him. “Anyways. I just needed to get that off my chest. It’s cool if you don’t feel the same way. I’ll just leave now, since you seem to have calmed down,” She turned around, and her hand hovered over the doorknob, but she looked back over her shoulder to steal one last glance at him.

“Oh, and… take care, okay?”

_Take care?_ Ben thought, suppressing a smile. He was in shock, struggling to process everything. He was wrong. She did like him, she liked him all along, and there had never been other reasons for why she’d done the kind things she’d done for him. She _liked_ him.

Devi Vishwakumar _liked_ him back. 

“Don’t,” He said, desperately.

“Don’t what?” She questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t leave.” He finished, and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly. She hugged him back with all her might, sighing in relief. 

“Can you be nice to me more often from now on?” He mumbled into her ear, smiling.

“Okay.”

“Cause, even though at first I hated it, I actually feel really nice when you’re nice to me.”

“Same. Although the bickering won’t ever stop, okay? I enjoy that too.”

“That’s for sure.” He muttered, smiling to himself as he felt her press her lips softly to his neck. 

He didn't know what this meant for them, whether they were dating now, but he didn’t need to hear it from her mouth directly to know that the answer was _yes._

She finally seemed clear to him. Now he understood why Devi did the things she did, and what he meant for her, and that confirmation was all he needed. 

The confirmation that Devi Vishwakumar did those nice things for him not for his food, or his homework answers, or bragging rights…

She did those nice things for him because she _liked_ him.

And oh boy was she lucky, because he _definitely_ liked her back.

**Author's Note:**

> if you liked this oneshot, it would make me very happy if you left kudos, and it would make me even more happier if you left a comment for me to read (i always reply!) <3


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